In our home, I am often accused of smelling things that aren't there. At least, no one else smells it, so it must just be me. *rolls eyes* Well, today Sunnydale was in the garage getting ready for band practice and he pokes his head in and says, "Christi, come here, I need your nose". I went out there and he was sitting on one of the loveseats looking all around. "Do you smell that", he asked. "No, I don't smell anything", I replied. "sit here", he says So I sit down and proceed to smell everything, the loveseat, the floor, all over. Nothing. I don't smell anything. Hmmm.
Well all he knows is that he smells it and it smells like urine. I definitely didn't smell that.
A little while later he walks over to me in the garage and gives me a big hug. Then he takes his hat off his head and puts it on my head and I yelped. "It's the HAT!!", I said. He took the hat and smelled it and was like EWWWW! It was the hat. Somehow HIS (let me emphasize his) dog, Chester, had apparently relieved himself on the hat. Now, how the hat came to be on the floor or where and when this happened no one knows. I know that somewhere in my soul, there is a tiny bit of love for the dog...Somewhere. But he'll never know about it. *sigh*
Ok, I'm logging now. Hopefully this weekend will go smoothly without any more kinks thrown into it. By the way, our computer crashed a few weeks ago and now that we have it fixed and I'm back online, we realized that we lost ALL the pictures that we ever had on the computer from Abby's birth on, so if any of you have any please email them to me. That would be great!
Nov 19, 2005
Nov 14, 2005
How DO we feel about advice, really?
I have so much to say tonight. I'm going to try and process it slowly, so I'll type it slowly, so it will make sense to you.
People give advice about so many things, everything from how to cook, to how to be pregnant, how to deliver - pain meds or no pain meds, to how to parent, to how to deal with life. Some of it we retain with a grateful heart and some of it we hear as a whisper - making it harder to recall. But, for most of us, secretly we know our way is better.
Then someone will come along and give the same advice over and over. And we find ourselves thinking, "what makes them the expert?". It's that that I find so heavy on my heart tonight. Generally speaking, when I look at my life, I think I'm a good mother. I'm home for them, I cook for them, I laugh with them, I do homework with them, I am here when they go to bed at night and I'm here to see them off to school in the morning. I pick them up from school happy to see them and eager to hear about their day. But that's not what makes a good mother. Those things, the ones I mentioned above, those are the easy things. It's what I'm learning to call, the "surface" clean.
The "surface" clean is when the house appears to be clean but when you open closets and drawers it's cluttered. When you parent on the surface, you are blind to the things you aren't doing. The truly nurturing things. The things that will cement a happy memory in your child's head. The things that will cement life lessons and how to deal with them appropriately. Instead of just going through the motions of daily life. Having children is way more in depth than what I ever dreamed. It's teaching them to do the simple things like brushing their teeth. Ok, got that one covered right? Wrong. I always thought, you tell them that it's important to brush their teeth then when they don't do it you discipline them. It's important to be responsible. But, wait. Their just kids . It doesn't work that way. Try thinking of it like this. Teach them to brush their teeth, then if you are on your way to school and you ask "Did you brush your teeth?" and they reply "no" discipline yourself. Because as parents it is OUR responsibility to teach them to follow through. Follow through and make sure it's done before you are on your way to school.
That's just an example of a tiny thing. Here is a bigger thing. When you are frustrated, it's been a long day and the kids are fighting and one's crying and another is hungry and you've been cleaning up diapers and spilled sippy cups and trying to fold the only half a load of laundry you got done and it's 5:30, somehow, and you didn't take out anything to thaw for dinner and you're not prepared.....What are they learning then? When they are doing their homework and it's not a "homework" environment (quiet) and they are frustrated because they are feeling overwhelmed by the work load and you are feeling overwhelmed by your work load so you find yourself yelling, trying to be successful at creating peace and quiet, when all they need is your undivided attention. What are they learning then?
All of a sudden it doesn't matter if you're home for them, if you laughed with them, if you met them at the school eager to hear about their day. All of a sudden it doesn't matter how many times you say "I love you" it doesn't matter that you spent your entire day thinking about them and missing them. What matters is that they are frustrated, you're frustrated and you appear to be frustrated with them. It crushes their spirit. It truly creates doubt in their little hearts. Even when you think you're doing such a good job. Because you're not like some Mom's who are hopping around from boyfriend to boyfriend or are on drugs or are never there or whatever. You compare yourself to how bad it could be not even realizing how bad you're creating it to be.
Does that make sense?
My best friend (not mentioning any names but it's someone I live with) gives me advice all the time. Parenting advice. I can't help but to think half the time "what makes you the expert?". But maybe it's not what makes him the expert, but what doesn't make me the expert. Maybe it's what the people around us have experienced in their own lives that DOES make them the expert. They know how to do this or how to do that because they know how it feels to either receive it or to need it and not get it. Sheer wisdom. And we all know that wisdom comes from life. From living it.
So I should not be so quick to defend my mothering skills. I see my kids get frustrated with their homework, like they did tonight. And I realize (because I seem to learn things the hard way) that they are reacting to a stressful situation the same way that I do. I'm good when it's other people's stress. I'm pretty good at calming down another military wife when she learns that their orders got dropped or that they are moving overseas instead of to Texas. I'm pretty good at lending a shoulder or an ear. But how good am I at teaching my kids that? Where are my kids when I'm sitting in some woman's living room helping her out after a long night with her kids? Mine are at school. There is a stress free side of me that my kids probably rarely see. And that's not acceptable. I'm making an eternal impression on them. They are going to LIVE how I teach them to live. They are going to react how I teach them to react. They are going to love how I teach them to love. And it's THOSE things that I'll call "deep" clean.
I heard something on the radio last night and I can't get it out of my head.
How come, when Jesus was accused of so many things, how come He didn't defend himself? Most of us when we are unjustly accused we are very quick to defend ourselves. Some fight diligently until nothing has been gained except for more pain, some fight quietly in their circle of friends. But we all, probably would defend ourselves in one way or another. But not Jesus. Why? Look at it from His point of view. He knew that in His Father's eyes he was blameless, spotless, innocent. So why defend himself to ordinary men? There was no need. Because He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that His Father loved Him.
So maybe, I'll be less quick to defend. Quicker to listen...Hmmm that verse pops up, slow to speak....*rolls eyes* Ok, ok Lord. I hear you. Thanks for the pep talk. I'm listening. And P.S Lord, thanks for giving me a husband who has the insight of a child, the heart of a child, the compassion of a child, yet the wisdom of a man.
And Sunnydale, I loved being home with you today and watching you make cookies for the kids. That was a blast. They have enjoyed the cookies, but probably more because you made them just for them. That was special. *wink* Thanks for the life lesson once again taught in gentleness. I am truly blessed. So are the four precious little lives asleep upstairs.
See you in the morning....
People give advice about so many things, everything from how to cook, to how to be pregnant, how to deliver - pain meds or no pain meds, to how to parent, to how to deal with life. Some of it we retain with a grateful heart and some of it we hear as a whisper - making it harder to recall. But, for most of us, secretly we know our way is better.
Then someone will come along and give the same advice over and over. And we find ourselves thinking, "what makes them the expert?". It's that that I find so heavy on my heart tonight. Generally speaking, when I look at my life, I think I'm a good mother. I'm home for them, I cook for them, I laugh with them, I do homework with them, I am here when they go to bed at night and I'm here to see them off to school in the morning. I pick them up from school happy to see them and eager to hear about their day. But that's not what makes a good mother. Those things, the ones I mentioned above, those are the easy things. It's what I'm learning to call, the "surface" clean.
The "surface" clean is when the house appears to be clean but when you open closets and drawers it's cluttered. When you parent on the surface, you are blind to the things you aren't doing. The truly nurturing things. The things that will cement a happy memory in your child's head. The things that will cement life lessons and how to deal with them appropriately. Instead of just going through the motions of daily life. Having children is way more in depth than what I ever dreamed. It's teaching them to do the simple things like brushing their teeth. Ok, got that one covered right? Wrong. I always thought, you tell them that it's important to brush their teeth then when they don't do it you discipline them. It's important to be responsible. But, wait. Their just kids . It doesn't work that way. Try thinking of it like this. Teach them to brush their teeth, then if you are on your way to school and you ask "Did you brush your teeth?" and they reply "no" discipline yourself. Because as parents it is OUR responsibility to teach them to follow through. Follow through and make sure it's done before you are on your way to school.
That's just an example of a tiny thing. Here is a bigger thing. When you are frustrated, it's been a long day and the kids are fighting and one's crying and another is hungry and you've been cleaning up diapers and spilled sippy cups and trying to fold the only half a load of laundry you got done and it's 5:30, somehow, and you didn't take out anything to thaw for dinner and you're not prepared.....What are they learning then? When they are doing their homework and it's not a "homework" environment (quiet) and they are frustrated because they are feeling overwhelmed by the work load and you are feeling overwhelmed by your work load so you find yourself yelling, trying to be successful at creating peace and quiet, when all they need is your undivided attention. What are they learning then?
All of a sudden it doesn't matter if you're home for them, if you laughed with them, if you met them at the school eager to hear about their day. All of a sudden it doesn't matter how many times you say "I love you" it doesn't matter that you spent your entire day thinking about them and missing them. What matters is that they are frustrated, you're frustrated and you appear to be frustrated with them. It crushes their spirit. It truly creates doubt in their little hearts. Even when you think you're doing such a good job. Because you're not like some Mom's who are hopping around from boyfriend to boyfriend or are on drugs or are never there or whatever. You compare yourself to how bad it could be not even realizing how bad you're creating it to be.
Does that make sense?
My best friend (not mentioning any names but it's someone I live with) gives me advice all the time. Parenting advice. I can't help but to think half the time "what makes you the expert?". But maybe it's not what makes him the expert, but what doesn't make me the expert. Maybe it's what the people around us have experienced in their own lives that DOES make them the expert. They know how to do this or how to do that because they know how it feels to either receive it or to need it and not get it. Sheer wisdom. And we all know that wisdom comes from life. From living it.
So I should not be so quick to defend my mothering skills. I see my kids get frustrated with their homework, like they did tonight. And I realize (because I seem to learn things the hard way) that they are reacting to a stressful situation the same way that I do. I'm good when it's other people's stress. I'm pretty good at calming down another military wife when she learns that their orders got dropped or that they are moving overseas instead of to Texas. I'm pretty good at lending a shoulder or an ear. But how good am I at teaching my kids that? Where are my kids when I'm sitting in some woman's living room helping her out after a long night with her kids? Mine are at school. There is a stress free side of me that my kids probably rarely see. And that's not acceptable. I'm making an eternal impression on them. They are going to LIVE how I teach them to live. They are going to react how I teach them to react. They are going to love how I teach them to love. And it's THOSE things that I'll call "deep" clean.
I heard something on the radio last night and I can't get it out of my head.
How come, when Jesus was accused of so many things, how come He didn't defend himself? Most of us when we are unjustly accused we are very quick to defend ourselves. Some fight diligently until nothing has been gained except for more pain, some fight quietly in their circle of friends. But we all, probably would defend ourselves in one way or another. But not Jesus. Why? Look at it from His point of view. He knew that in His Father's eyes he was blameless, spotless, innocent. So why defend himself to ordinary men? There was no need. Because He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that His Father loved Him.
So maybe, I'll be less quick to defend. Quicker to listen...Hmmm that verse pops up, slow to speak....*rolls eyes* Ok, ok Lord. I hear you. Thanks for the pep talk. I'm listening. And P.S Lord, thanks for giving me a husband who has the insight of a child, the heart of a child, the compassion of a child, yet the wisdom of a man.
And Sunnydale, I loved being home with you today and watching you make cookies for the kids. That was a blast. They have enjoyed the cookies, but probably more because you made them just for them. That was special. *wink* Thanks for the life lesson once again taught in gentleness. I am truly blessed. So are the four precious little lives asleep upstairs.
See you in the morning....
Nov 13, 2005
Music To My Ears...
I just have to take a moment and dedicate a spot on my blog to the band "One More". They are awesome musicians, everyone from the lead singer to the drummer and all the guitarist. I am so proud of them and the incredible Christian music they are putting out. Can't wait until I hear them on the radio and all the nights of practice in our garage are over...LOL.
Just Kiddin. I mean how many kids can say "My Dad is in a Christian rock band and they play in our garage." *huge grin* Seriously though, if anyone wants to fly out here for Thanksgiving they are playing at our huge Thanksgiving bash. Sunnydale's parents are coming along with the 40 guests we're having for Dinner. I do believe this will be a Thanksgiving to remember!
The garage is almost finished, we turned it into an honest to goodness "band room". LOL We have the drums set up on one wall and the mic's in front of that. Then the amps and everything else is to the side, the computer and keyboard are off to the right. In front of it all, are 2 couches and one loveseat. Did I mention I got a job to pay for Sunnydale's music career? *laughing*
It's a lot of fun, good memories that's for sure.
I'm proud of you babe. I'm proud of you for not letting this talent fade. But for doing everything you can to use it. Sacrifices are worth it, huh? God provides, He always has. It's all for Him anyway isn't it? Love ya!
Just Kiddin. I mean how many kids can say "My Dad is in a Christian rock band and they play in our garage." *huge grin* Seriously though, if anyone wants to fly out here for Thanksgiving they are playing at our huge Thanksgiving bash. Sunnydale's parents are coming along with the 40 guests we're having for Dinner. I do believe this will be a Thanksgiving to remember!
The garage is almost finished, we turned it into an honest to goodness "band room". LOL We have the drums set up on one wall and the mic's in front of that. Then the amps and everything else is to the side, the computer and keyboard are off to the right. In front of it all, are 2 couches and one loveseat. Did I mention I got a job to pay for Sunnydale's music career? *laughing*
It's a lot of fun, good memories that's for sure.
I'm proud of you babe. I'm proud of you for not letting this talent fade. But for doing everything you can to use it. Sacrifices are worth it, huh? God provides, He always has. It's all for Him anyway isn't it? Love ya!
Nov 12, 2005
Purple People Eaters
Ok, I have to say that I realized something today. People have really been aggravating me lately. I don't know why. But all of a sudden over the last 6 months or so, I have come to the conclusion that I disagree with over half of the things that come out of women's mouths. Now, before you women out there take that wrong, let me explain.
I have heard so much gossip and taken part in a lot of it, thinking that I was trying to "help". That's our way of gossiping, you know. We "help", or we're trying to be a good listener, or sometimes we're just "being honest". Right?
Here is my perception of my life at this moment....
I have been married for almost 11 years, not always happily, but I do believe that is normal. I am happy now, and that's all that matters. Anyway, we have 4 children. I will have an impact, an eternal impact, on these children. Now, as much as I love my husband (and he's a GREAT Dad), he can't always be here. I understand that. I want life for him when he IS here to be relaxing. When he walks in the door, I don't dump the kids on him saying I've had enough, I am grateful he is there to provide moral support, but to dump him with an entire other job as soon as he walks in the door would just be wrong. I have listened to so many women lately complain about their lives, their husbands, their children, the bible study we attend, other members of our Chapel, you name it I've had to listen to it. Then it occurs to me, I did this, I made these people think they should be comfortable telling me these things.
Also, DRAMA. Raise your hand if you enjoy DRAMA.
Ok, why can't we just bake a cake for someone when they need it and move on with life. How come everything is everyone's business??? People create their own drama. Women, create their own drama. I'm guilty of it, too. But it is something that I am quickly growing very tired of. Sometimes I just wish I could hole up in my house and not deal with anyone. Mostly because I am so sick of the stupid things that people say.
No, I'm not pregnant...LOL Seriously though, I truly believe that Paul really had something when he said for us women to be quiet. We're so quick to defend that. Why don't we WANT to be more like Sarah, Abraham's wife?? What was it that was said about her, that she had a quiet and gentle spirit? I find myself longing to be in the company of a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit. Where is she, Lord? Where is my friend that I can learn from, you know, the one who's spirit is quiet and gentle, so quiet and gentle that also is her tongue????
Where is JUNE?? You know JUNE CLEAVER?? The one who always had a smile on her face, who laughed at her kids instead of yelling at them, who packed sack lunches everyday. Said goodbye at the door fully dressed and her hair done? Our worship has changed too.
What happened to that generation where we actually cared about being decent people. Whatever happened to the Christians who worshiped our Lord through dance and song? Who lifted their hands to the sky in unabandoned love and adoration for our LORD?? Church doctrine is not the truth, you know. Sometimes, it may be BASED on truth, but there is only one Truth.
Sorry to completely vent. But I'm a little frustrated at the Christian women I am surrounded by. Where is our servanthood? What are we loyal to? Cause I seriously doubt it's God.
I have heard so much gossip and taken part in a lot of it, thinking that I was trying to "help". That's our way of gossiping, you know. We "help", or we're trying to be a good listener, or sometimes we're just "being honest". Right?
Here is my perception of my life at this moment....
I have been married for almost 11 years, not always happily, but I do believe that is normal. I am happy now, and that's all that matters. Anyway, we have 4 children. I will have an impact, an eternal impact, on these children. Now, as much as I love my husband (and he's a GREAT Dad), he can't always be here. I understand that. I want life for him when he IS here to be relaxing. When he walks in the door, I don't dump the kids on him saying I've had enough, I am grateful he is there to provide moral support, but to dump him with an entire other job as soon as he walks in the door would just be wrong. I have listened to so many women lately complain about their lives, their husbands, their children, the bible study we attend, other members of our Chapel, you name it I've had to listen to it. Then it occurs to me, I did this, I made these people think they should be comfortable telling me these things.
Also, DRAMA. Raise your hand if you enjoy DRAMA.
Ok, why can't we just bake a cake for someone when they need it and move on with life. How come everything is everyone's business??? People create their own drama. Women, create their own drama. I'm guilty of it, too. But it is something that I am quickly growing very tired of. Sometimes I just wish I could hole up in my house and not deal with anyone. Mostly because I am so sick of the stupid things that people say.
No, I'm not pregnant...LOL Seriously though, I truly believe that Paul really had something when he said for us women to be quiet. We're so quick to defend that. Why don't we WANT to be more like Sarah, Abraham's wife?? What was it that was said about her, that she had a quiet and gentle spirit? I find myself longing to be in the company of a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit. Where is she, Lord? Where is my friend that I can learn from, you know, the one who's spirit is quiet and gentle, so quiet and gentle that also is her tongue????
Where is JUNE?? You know JUNE CLEAVER?? The one who always had a smile on her face, who laughed at her kids instead of yelling at them, who packed sack lunches everyday. Said goodbye at the door fully dressed and her hair done? Our worship has changed too.
What happened to that generation where we actually cared about being decent people. Whatever happened to the Christians who worshiped our Lord through dance and song? Who lifted their hands to the sky in unabandoned love and adoration for our LORD?? Church doctrine is not the truth, you know. Sometimes, it may be BASED on truth, but there is only one Truth.
Sorry to completely vent. But I'm a little frustrated at the Christian women I am surrounded by. Where is our servanthood? What are we loyal to? Cause I seriously doubt it's God.
Adrienne's cake!!
I suppose she loved her cake so much that she wanted to put her face in it!! She kept asking us, "Can I put my face in the cake?". So she did, 3 times she dunked her face into the cake and icing. She had cake all over the table, floor and us! It was a lot of fun though. *huge grin*
Adrienne's birthday
Adrienne's birthday was great. She was SOOO surprised when she came home from school. Daddy had decorated the house AND made his first birthday cake!! It was good, too! *grin* We were proud of his work and Adrienne just loved the decorations, the cake and her presents. She is always a blast to watch. *smile*
Colorado
It snowed! Yep, it snowed while I was in Colorado. It was the coolest thing I had seen in a long time. It was different snow than the Kansas snow I saw a few years back. This snow was soft and billowy (is that a word?). Anyhoo, it was so neat. We watched it come down from the top of the mountain across the valley and sweep 3 inches over us in a matter of an hour. The Army/Air Force football game was played at the Academy in Colorado Springs in 3 inches of snow. Not a big deal to them, but was neat for me. We didn't get to actually watch the game, but the Army coaches were staying in the same resort that we were staying in. By the way, Army won, 27 - 24. We heard it was a great game.
Anyway these pictures are of the snow when it was on it's way down the mountain. Enjoy!!
Nov 10, 2005
I did it Again, huh?
Wow! It's a record! I guess I've just been trying to see how long it'll be between posts! So much has been going on it's been crazier than usual around here. I've been working at the chapel and I'm lovin' it! I went to Colorado for 4 days last week. That was definitely fun. It was for a Woman's Retreat....PWOC...Protestant Women of the Chapel West Regional Conference.
Great!! It was SOOO great! I learned a lot about worship, the diversity of the women in the Chapel and how to work with each of them. It really was quite a weekend!
Today is Adrienne's birthday. Wow. I just can't believe that she is six years old! She is so beautiful and so funny. Always cracking us up. Happy Birthday Adri. I love you!!!
Great!! It was SOOO great! I learned a lot about worship, the diversity of the women in the Chapel and how to work with each of them. It really was quite a weekend!
Today is Adrienne's birthday. Wow. I just can't believe that she is six years old! She is so beautiful and so funny. Always cracking us up. Happy Birthday Adri. I love you!!!
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